Garden of Roses

There's a garden of roses
outside of my room
and the roses do grow
while new flowers bloom.
I keep planting more,
the flowerbed grows
with every new
and perfect rose.
But the problem is,
with perfection that is,
that roses will wilt
against every wish.
Into time's arms
the roses will fall;
eventually, each of them,
one and all.
But such is the grandness
of precious life:
it's filled with ups
and downs and strife.
It's the way that it is,
the way that life goes
for every single
perfect rose.
So forever, I
will plant one more;
an eternal garden
at my door,
and maybe time
will grant just one
that never wilts,
or until I'm done
it will survive,
a perfect rose
in sync with my
own crooked nose.
I don't need perfect,
just perfection
to echo me,
be my reflection.
I will wait
until it grows
amongst my flowers:
my perfect rose.

A Lesson On Love; or why my heart hurts.

Love is a complex thing, made of
time, growth, and experiences.
They can not be spoken of independently,
but such is the lesson today.

Time

Many have seen my writings of
an angel; she entered my life three
years ago to bring me
heaven and hell.

A seeming never ending saga began
in a chapel and a corridor. But I convinced myself of certain things
so that I would not fall.

Time goes on and so do I,
views change and so do I,
the world changes and so do I.
Time changes and my feelings glide

to new and unknowable, unthinkable
heights. I guess falling is not meant
for intention. So unintentionally,
unwittingly, uncontrollably, I fell.

Time has brought it's ups and downs,
created strange paths to hurt or
help the unsuspecting. Time has not
been kind, yet kinder than all.

Today is the feeling I had yesterday,
except more powerful than
tomorrow's could ever have
been conceived.

The problem with stopping 'now'
is that tomorrow will come. Destiny
can only be postponed for a
moment of forever.

Growth

When the angel first appeared, I
was a man (or boy?) of God. My,
how things have changed. Cynicism
and existentialism have lead my way

following a clarification on reality.
This moved me from faith to
confusion as my world fell down
beside me, a new world dawning.

Finally, a lesson was learnt on the
ability to find happiness with or
without and wherever you
happened to be. What a truth!

Faith and hope were gone to be
replaced by questions and laughter.
Friends were made and a light
rekindled; a love grown.

We understood each other more
with the absence of invisible beings.
We could speak of joyous things
with the absence of invisible beings.

Yet some things did not change;
I am unsure whether my hand
reaches for nothing, or if we are
passing lights on an empty road.

Whichever we were,
whatever we are,
our paths have still not crossed
and nothing has changed.

Experiences

And yet how everything changes
in the dream of a solitary night. Well,
let us begin at the fore before the
dream of that solitary night.

It's never been more than casual conversation,
that's fine by me. At first it was
nothing more than a chat in a corridor,
while she mistakenly pulled my heartstrings.

It was followed by unmet invitations
(why did I not make the most of chance?!),
and invisible, technological,
empty conversations.

Finally, we meet again amidst a time
of social emptiness on my part. Oh,
the joy that she brought to a
lifeless, broken heart.

We would meet again, and the
New Year was not as terrible as
it could have been. Talking and
wanting and cliches coming true.

Things slowed down, but my feelings
did not. I would wait, look forward to
the meetings of tomorrow, the times
to see and talk and hope.

Daydreams would pass my way
and stories would fill my mind.
But I still yet wait for reality
to catch up with my dreams.

The Dream Of The Solitary Night

I was with my former contemporaries
discussing religion and politics,
apparently it was wrong to form
opinion not dictated by men in suits.

I looked outside to see a field filled
with more of those formers, and I
knew that she must be among them.
I searched and I searched;

my subconscious was on my side.
Her glowing hair, her glowing smile,
she was there in full form as only
she could be, at least to me.

My mother briefly enters and
mutters something (I wonder what
Freud would say?), but disappears
to leave us to our happiness.

I'm about to quote someone in my
usual pretentious way, when she
says to me, "I'm going to lean in
and kiss you now."

And she did.

It was amazing and perfect and
more than I could have dreamed.
I forgot my words when forever
broke, and she left with my heart again.

But it was a dream, just a dream.
My subconscious torturing me yet
again. I don't know what to do now,
but I hope for yesterday's dream tonight.

Virtulust

Living in a world of virtual reality
that changes the here and now into
never and always. But I'm not
inside the machine, it is in my mind.
In real reality, I am in a time of post-
virtulust. That history, those times of
confusion between body, mind, and
numbers is over, yet the memories
plague my mind. Even worse, in the
virtual realm, time has not changed.
If I fall into the pit of yesterday, now
is as real as it once was. My one transgression
will plague me forever and always.

The Time Is Now

Left, right, forward and back,
with the thoughts of yesterday
and philosophies gone by
at the head of now's mind.
On the other hand, whichever
of the countless hands it
seems to be, it seems to me
that tomorrow has arrived.
Heat below rises; the chill of
a winterless winter night
leave the only worthy tools I own
in a sad and hopeless state.
It's a paradoxical world.
It's a series of colliding lives.
Whatever the madness may be,
it is a sensibly random collision of beauty.

Here and Now

There is little I can prove
in this small world of mine.
In fact, I would go so far as to say
I can prove nothing.
I can be told, shown, touched in ways
that will give me the answers to the world.
But what will I hear, see, feel?
I will only receive what I want and need.
And time? It is a glorious
and confusing thing.
I do not know what will happen
in 12 seconds, nor can I prove what's been.
I only have knowledge that
I can know. It's this
small world of mine.
It's here and it's now.